![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Wheels within wheels...
I was invited, last night, to look a little more closely at why people don't do more to end the cycle that I mentioned in my previous post. These are some of my ponderations.
They don't want to be held responsible for their own lives. They've been conditioned to believe that if they do something to break that cycle, they will Suffer the Consequences (which, they have been thoroughly assured, are far worse than the misery they are experiencing now). This way, even though they're upset, they can pretend that it is someone else's fault instead of their own. They are, as I believe I've mentioned before, more caught up with being right than with being happy.
Of course, many also buy into the message that there is nothing that they can do about it. They have to [insert name of drudgery or despised thing here] to make a decent living. Why? Because that's the way it has always been. Because that's just the way things are. Nothing to be done. Just stay right where you are, because even though Mr. Godot regretfully informs you that he will not be coming this evening, he will most certainly be here tomorrow.
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is not a matter of hanging on and keeping doing what you're doing until things get better. If you continue to do what you've always done, you'll continue to get what you've always gotten!
Godot will not come tomorrow night either.
How many more evenings will you continue to wait for him in the vain hope that he will come and sort out your world for you?
How long until you set out along that path and find out the answers for yourself?
How much more suffering will you endure before you move to free yourself?
Nobody else is going to do it for you. Nobody else can.
Your limits, the borders between what you can and cannot do, are in your mind. They are very hard to cross, because they were designed by your own mind for the purpose of keeping you from crossing them. They're custom designed. I've talked to many people who are trapped by these borders; the conversation usually goes something like this:
Me: Why don't you just go?
Them: I can't!
Me: Why not?
Them: I'm waiting for Godot!
Me: When will he be here?
Them: He was supposed to come tonight, but he did not make it.
Me: Oh really?
Them: Yes, but he will come tomorrow, without fail!
Me: How many tomorrows have you waited for him to come without fail?
Them: More than I can remember.
Me: And yet you still wait in this place that you so strongly dislike?
Them: Indeed!
Me: Why do you extend to him such patience? Surely for anyone else you would have gone your own way long ago!
Them: Because he is an Important Person, and I am but someone seeking his help and guidance, looking for him to take me in. He is very busy, what with all the people he helps and takes care of; I can understand why he hasn't gotten to me yet. Sometimes I do get fed up with him for keeping me waiting so long, but I know that it can't be helped because he is, after all, Mr. Godot.
Me: What if you dropped him?
Them: I beg your pardon!
Me: What if you left, and got on with your life?
Them: Oh I couldn't do that!
Me: Why not?
Them: He'd punish me!
Me: He hasn't punished me, and I'm not waiting for him any more.
Them: You must be special, then. Not like me. He would punish me for not doing what I am supposed to be doing.
Me: What are you supposed to be doing?
Them: I don't know; he hasn't told me yet, so I can't get on with my life because I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing!
And go 'round and 'round and 'round
in a circle game...
Godot won't be here tomorrow night, either.
Looking for answers from someone or something outside yourself won't do it. I got lots of answers, but none of them made me happy. I was waiting for Godot to tell me what I was supposed to do, or I was doing what I thought Godot wanted me to do. Lots of messengers came and told me lots of things about what Mr. Godot wanted, but they were conflicting messages. I tried to follow through on them, to follow all the rules, to win Godot's approval so that he'd reward me well, and I was miserable. I was right, or at least righteous, and I was pretty unhappy with a lot of things.
So finally, last March, I ran across the suggestion that maybe I don't need Mr. Godot to tell me what I should do. Maybe I don't need to worry about what Godot will think. I've been exploring this possibility since then and have had some very interesting results. Lightning has yet to strike me down. The heavens have, so far, failed to crush me. There was a plague of locusts earlier, but that didn't really affect me; a few of the trees are now losing the ends of some of their branches, but that's pretty much the extent of the damage from that. All in all, there seems to have been a severe shortage of smiting. If this is punishment, then I must be a masochist; I'm enjoying my life waay too much right now ^_^
Now that we're nearing the end of this entry, I'll point to one more thing that I feel really speaks to this situation: Billy Joel's song, Piano Man. It's about the different people in a bar, all of them with dreams, and only one of whom is actually following his.
It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Makin' love to his tonic and gin
He says, son, can you play me a memory?
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man's clothes
La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da
Chorus:
Sing us a song, you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feelin' alright
Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be
He says, Bill, I believe this is killing me.
As the smile ran away from his face
Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place
Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da
Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talkin' with Davy who's still in the navy
And probably will be for life
And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinkin' alone
Chorus
It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
'cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see
To forget about life for a while
And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, man, what are you doin' here?
Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da
Chorus
Were you able to pick out the one who is living a life that he enjoys? It's the piano man himself, with his piano and his microphone and his free drinks and tip jar. The most interesting part, to me, is the last line, "Man, what are you doin' here?" To me it says they assume that he's just as miserable as they are, because they're stuck on the belief that it wouldn't be possible to have a good life as a piano man, that he must be there out of some sort of desperation just like they are--yet despite all of their beliefs, he's still the happiest man in the bar.
Just because nobody else can believe that you could possibly be happy with your lifestyle doesn't mean you can't be.
On these notes, I close.
What is your Godot?
They don't want to be held responsible for their own lives. They've been conditioned to believe that if they do something to break that cycle, they will Suffer the Consequences (which, they have been thoroughly assured, are far worse than the misery they are experiencing now). This way, even though they're upset, they can pretend that it is someone else's fault instead of their own. They are, as I believe I've mentioned before, more caught up with being right than with being happy.
Of course, many also buy into the message that there is nothing that they can do about it. They have to [insert name of drudgery or despised thing here] to make a decent living. Why? Because that's the way it has always been. Because that's just the way things are. Nothing to be done. Just stay right where you are, because even though Mr. Godot regretfully informs you that he will not be coming this evening, he will most certainly be here tomorrow.
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is not a matter of hanging on and keeping doing what you're doing until things get better. If you continue to do what you've always done, you'll continue to get what you've always gotten!
Godot will not come tomorrow night either.
How many more evenings will you continue to wait for him in the vain hope that he will come and sort out your world for you?
How long until you set out along that path and find out the answers for yourself?
How much more suffering will you endure before you move to free yourself?
Nobody else is going to do it for you. Nobody else can.
Your limits, the borders between what you can and cannot do, are in your mind. They are very hard to cross, because they were designed by your own mind for the purpose of keeping you from crossing them. They're custom designed. I've talked to many people who are trapped by these borders; the conversation usually goes something like this:
Me: Why don't you just go?
Them: I can't!
Me: Why not?
Them: I'm waiting for Godot!
Me: When will he be here?
Them: He was supposed to come tonight, but he did not make it.
Me: Oh really?
Them: Yes, but he will come tomorrow, without fail!
Me: How many tomorrows have you waited for him to come without fail?
Them: More than I can remember.
Me: And yet you still wait in this place that you so strongly dislike?
Them: Indeed!
Me: Why do you extend to him such patience? Surely for anyone else you would have gone your own way long ago!
Them: Because he is an Important Person, and I am but someone seeking his help and guidance, looking for him to take me in. He is very busy, what with all the people he helps and takes care of; I can understand why he hasn't gotten to me yet. Sometimes I do get fed up with him for keeping me waiting so long, but I know that it can't be helped because he is, after all, Mr. Godot.
Me: What if you dropped him?
Them: I beg your pardon!
Me: What if you left, and got on with your life?
Them: Oh I couldn't do that!
Me: Why not?
Them: He'd punish me!
Me: He hasn't punished me, and I'm not waiting for him any more.
Them: You must be special, then. Not like me. He would punish me for not doing what I am supposed to be doing.
Me: What are you supposed to be doing?
Them: I don't know; he hasn't told me yet, so I can't get on with my life because I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing!
And go 'round and 'round and 'round
in a circle game...
Godot won't be here tomorrow night, either.
Looking for answers from someone or something outside yourself won't do it. I got lots of answers, but none of them made me happy. I was waiting for Godot to tell me what I was supposed to do, or I was doing what I thought Godot wanted me to do. Lots of messengers came and told me lots of things about what Mr. Godot wanted, but they were conflicting messages. I tried to follow through on them, to follow all the rules, to win Godot's approval so that he'd reward me well, and I was miserable. I was right, or at least righteous, and I was pretty unhappy with a lot of things.
So finally, last March, I ran across the suggestion that maybe I don't need Mr. Godot to tell me what I should do. Maybe I don't need to worry about what Godot will think. I've been exploring this possibility since then and have had some very interesting results. Lightning has yet to strike me down. The heavens have, so far, failed to crush me. There was a plague of locusts earlier, but that didn't really affect me; a few of the trees are now losing the ends of some of their branches, but that's pretty much the extent of the damage from that. All in all, there seems to have been a severe shortage of smiting. If this is punishment, then I must be a masochist; I'm enjoying my life waay too much right now ^_^
Now that we're nearing the end of this entry, I'll point to one more thing that I feel really speaks to this situation: Billy Joel's song, Piano Man. It's about the different people in a bar, all of them with dreams, and only one of whom is actually following his.
It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Makin' love to his tonic and gin
He says, son, can you play me a memory?
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man's clothes
La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da
Chorus:
Sing us a song, you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feelin' alright
Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be
He says, Bill, I believe this is killing me.
As the smile ran away from his face
Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place
Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da
Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talkin' with Davy who's still in the navy
And probably will be for life
And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinkin' alone
Chorus
It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
'cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see
To forget about life for a while
And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, man, what are you doin' here?
Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da
Chorus
Were you able to pick out the one who is living a life that he enjoys? It's the piano man himself, with his piano and his microphone and his free drinks and tip jar. The most interesting part, to me, is the last line, "Man, what are you doin' here?" To me it says they assume that he's just as miserable as they are, because they're stuck on the belief that it wouldn't be possible to have a good life as a piano man, that he must be there out of some sort of desperation just like they are--yet despite all of their beliefs, he's still the happiest man in the bar.
Just because nobody else can believe that you could possibly be happy with your lifestyle doesn't mean you can't be.
On these notes, I close.
What is your Godot?