Venting Frustrations

[tcepsa]

I'm having an edgy day--the program that I'm working on is giving me more trouble than usual (in ways that are counterintuitive to me) but since yelling at it doesn't help, I'm going to rant about something that a different supervisor just said. I'm paraphrasing here, but it was something along the lines of, "We're not here to have fun, we're here to do work."

First, he's not my supervisor (for which I am extremely grateful). Second, and more to the point, I am here to have fun. I'm here because I get to work with some really awesome people that I can relate to, and I get to do one of my most favorite things in the world: program computers (and it's corrolary: overcome interesting challenges). Even on a day like this, when the program isn't working and nothing I change seems to make a difference, I'm still enjoying it on some level. I know I'll figure it out eventually, or I'll work with my supervisor to find a way around it. The bulk of the frustration is coming from the fact that I think I should be able to do this faster than I am. The fact that I can't is a reminder to me to slow down a little bit today and do some exploration of details that I have been putting off. It's what happens when those details can no longer be shoved aside and at least some of them have to be addressed even if it means that I won't be as far along with some other stuff. My immediate reaction is to be frustrated, but underneath I secretly enjoy the challenge and I wouldn't trade it for most anything.

So yes, actually, I am here to have fun, and I don't understand people who settle for anything less. I understand people who put off finding a fun job for a few years due to other circumstances (e.g. my working for the Justice Department--it had its moments, but it really wasn't for me; I stuck it out because of my scholarship obligation) but if someone isn't doing something they love or at least working towards that, I just don't get it...

Comments

[sucsays.livejournal.com]

You will be surprised how much effort and courage it can take to internalize and act upon the notion that you deserve to have fun. Especially if you've hit a couple of rough, un-fun patches. Sometimes it's easier to rationalize your misery by telling yourself that life/work or certain aspects of life/work are not meant to be fun. Then you don't have to blame yourself for not trying hard enough to find fun if you aren't having any.