Observations and Reflections
Dec. 14th, 2004 10:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tcepsaI think it's interesting that several of my friends all seem to be going through job-related stuff at the same time; a lot of them are either getting new ones or thinking about looking for them or actively searching for them because they are dissatisfied with where they are. I guess the cumulative cascade effect of that has caught up with me :)
I feel like I can understand where a lot of you are at; I'm also pretty frustrated with my job, but feeling very overwhelmed by the process of looking for something else. A lot of it is doubt as to what I can really do. There are lots of things that I love doing, but I don't feel like I do them well enough that anyone would want to pay me to do them. That, and I just don't have that will to compete and dominate in the workforce. Sometimes it's all I can do not to stare blankly when one of my supervisors starts telling me about how I have the potential to be a Grade 15, or maybe even SES, manager. I'm flattered that they think I could grow to that point, but at the same time, I have pretty much no interest whatsoever in doing so. I see how many hours they put in, and what they have to endure, and when I ask myself whether I think that would be fun or fulfilling I get a resounding, "NO!"
On the flip side, I probably managed to use up at least an hour trying to get a busted plug out of a laptop power connector earlier today, and enjoyed every second of it. Something tells me that my management wouldn't appreciate it if I shared with them that the most fulfilling and interesting thing I've done so far at work this week has been taking apart a laptop and trying to fix it up...
I think I might have already written about this before, but when it comes to chains of management, I prefer to be on the bottom. Give me something to tinker with, or a program to be written, or a pile of data to be sifted through and sorted out, and I'm happy. I'll go to town on it for you. I'll put in extra hours because I want to know for myself how it works. On the other hand I had to restrain myself from bursting into tears trying to fill out a form to upgrade our version of Oracle :p
Hopefully this mood is just a combination of not enough sleep and too much holiday stress--things will start looking better soon, I'll stick out my government obligation and then get back into grad school somehow or get a job doing fun things--they have to be out there somewhere!!!--and in the meantime there are fuzzy blankets and hot chocolate waiting for me at home.
I feel like I can understand where a lot of you are at; I'm also pretty frustrated with my job, but feeling very overwhelmed by the process of looking for something else. A lot of it is doubt as to what I can really do. There are lots of things that I love doing, but I don't feel like I do them well enough that anyone would want to pay me to do them. That, and I just don't have that will to compete and dominate in the workforce. Sometimes it's all I can do not to stare blankly when one of my supervisors starts telling me about how I have the potential to be a Grade 15, or maybe even SES, manager. I'm flattered that they think I could grow to that point, but at the same time, I have pretty much no interest whatsoever in doing so. I see how many hours they put in, and what they have to endure, and when I ask myself whether I think that would be fun or fulfilling I get a resounding, "NO!"
On the flip side, I probably managed to use up at least an hour trying to get a busted plug out of a laptop power connector earlier today, and enjoyed every second of it. Something tells me that my management wouldn't appreciate it if I shared with them that the most fulfilling and interesting thing I've done so far at work this week has been taking apart a laptop and trying to fix it up...
I think I might have already written about this before, but when it comes to chains of management, I prefer to be on the bottom. Give me something to tinker with, or a program to be written, or a pile of data to be sifted through and sorted out, and I'm happy. I'll go to town on it for you. I'll put in extra hours because I want to know for myself how it works. On the other hand I had to restrain myself from bursting into tears trying to fill out a form to upgrade our version of Oracle :p
Hopefully this mood is just a combination of not enough sleep and too much holiday stress--things will start looking better soon, I'll stick out my government obligation and then get back into grad school somehow or get a job doing fun things--they have to be out there somewhere!!!--and in the meantime there are fuzzy blankets and hot chocolate waiting for me at home.
