Cynical? Me?

[tcepsa]

The Declaration of Independence states that all people have certain rights, among them the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It never says we have a right to actually catch happiness, though...

It's amazing to me how much I have changed in the past eight years or so. Eight years ago, I was posting on an athiest message board trying to get them to see the error of their ways, and to show them that there really were logically possible explanations for all of the stuff in the Bible (a lot of these logical explanations involved the word "metaphor" ;) Regardless, I thought that if they would just open their hearts to god's love, they would be able to live their lives much more happily.

Ultimately, they converted me.

Not to athiesm, but far, far away from most forms of Christianity. I treasure the experience of debating with them; they taught me a lot, about religion, about critical thinking, about self-awareness and scrutiny and also about standing up for yourself. That's where I first started to believe in myself enough to make that break with my Roman Catholic upbringing and begin exploring what I really believed instead of trying to make it fit with some pre-packaged religion.

One of the things that really helped drive me away from organized religion was many of the other posters on the board who, like me, were trying to make a case for their religion. Many of them used hateful rhetoric and dire proclamations of hellfire and damnation upon all of us in that den of sin. That always struck a discordant note with me; if you tell me that I'm a lesser person because of my interests or philosophies or sexual orientation or preference, you're not going to get very far with convincing me that your way is better.

Now it seems that those people are firmly entrenched in leadership positions in this country--and that the majority of the country is OK with that. In the 2000 election it didn't bother me that much, because I figured it was a fluke with the mess in Florida and everything. This time, though, there doesn't seem to be any contest about the will of the majority. Even after the things that this administration has done (or failed to do) in the past four years, most of the people in this country still support it. That's a wake up call for me. Many more of the entries here will probably be along political lines for the next few weeks as I turn over some of these thoughts in my head and figure out how I really feel about the whole thing and what I think the implications might be. Right now, a lot of them don't seem good. The papers are claiming that it looks like this country is making a solid shift towards conservativism. I strongly believe that any people who are as devoted to each other as a husband and wife should be entitled to the same privileges as that husband and wife, regardless of their gender. Several states now have it written into their constitution that not only can a only man and woman call it "marriage," only a single man and a single woman can claim the benefits of such a union. Most people seem to be in favor of this. I know not everyone is. But this country, as a whole, has seen fit to give power to people who are. That's just one big example of things that are starting to add up to something that I'm not sure I am willing to endure.

I guess the big question for me right now is, "Now what?"

That, and, "What next?"

Comments

A little more than two cents (ok, a LOT more) vol. 1

[(Anonymous)]

I can really sympathize with a number of your sentiments. My childhood was dominated by my family's heavy participation in a small, conservative Chinese church. This church community was the Chinese, well-to-do equivalent of a red state in the middle of LA. When I force myself to go back to this church, considered our extended family by my mother, in vain attempts to appease my mother, I am the black sheep willing to challenge men who believe a woman's rightful place in the family is as a follower to her husband's unquestioned leadership. I go to church retreat with girls who are petrified of using tampons because they don't know where "it" is exactly. The kind women who made sure I never went hungry on their watch have an overzealous fear of gays and liberals, though they know no one of the former group and have never tried to rationally discuss social issues with me.

I am still struggling with separating God from his well-intentioned but fallible followers because my childhood church family has framed my experiences with God. I don't yet know how to be with God other than by doing what the church tells me or rejecting what the church tells me. But God's truth and love are forever unchanging. People appropriate His name for all manner of ignoble reasons but this is not an endorsement from Him. In fact, in Revelations (which I'm sure you would find fascinating if you haven't read it already) the anti-Christ is prophesied to be someone that everyone believes is of God but truly is not. Sounds quite a bit like a certain White House administration I can think of.

I learn a great about Bush voters and how they think by observing my mother. She is a devout Christian who constantly reminds me I am a "stray sheep." She is chair of the Missions Committee, runs the elderly persons fellowship, established the junior high Sunday school program, serves as a sermon translator, gives old people rides to church, hosts prayer meetings in our home, etc. Yet I am sometimes astounded by her lack of compassion for the unfortunate. She despises social welfare programs feeling like she shouldn't have to shoulder the burden for those who haven't "helped themselves" as if she is somehow superior to them simply because she has been blessed to not have dire want. She has, indeed, worked hard all these many years raising me single-handedly and remarkably, serves far more than some other church members whom you would think should be able to serve more than my mother due to greater income and support at home. But my mother forgets that she was born into an educated family. That my grandmother was patient and gentle and always put her children before herself. That she did not suffer the indignities of growing up needy and abused. That she is by nature smart and disciplined and practical. And I marvel at how someone as generous and big-hearted as my mother has proven herself to be can be so cold to those that Jesus exhorted people to love the most. Jesus ate with tax collectors and whores and was murdered by the Pharisees and his own friends. Her behavior, like those of the Bush supporters, is a selectivity that picks which parts of the Gospel one will uphold because they are easy for her to follow and denies other parts that are difficult to her. It is easy to serve those you love. It is easy to denounce gays and protest abortions and believe everything your president tells you. It is hard to serve strangers who may be smelly and dirty and ugly and have scary diseases. It is hard to love people who are different from you and to make genuine, concerted efforts to help women carrying bastard children to mitigate their dismal situations and to exact the truth amidst propaganda and outright lies.

A little more than two cents vol. 2

[(Anonymous)]

As for me, I must take comfort in the fact that these are all ultimately decent people who think they are doing the right thing. They are doing their best even if they are sorely misled. I must cleave to the fact that a good half of the country has differing feelings and put up a damn good fight. And if many of them are like myself, their gloves are still on and they're already foaming at the mouth for Round 2. America has always been an experiment. It is only as great or as little as we allow it to be. And dammit, I'm greedy and I want the best. And I may be little but I'm feisty as all hell and I don't like taking no for an answer... it's something I learned from my mother.

Chin up, hunny. I feel like I was a total slacker this election season having not gone back to DC like I had been planning and settling with the first job offer I got in LA. I didn't donate or take bus rides to Nevada to knock on doors or make phone calls to Ohio. I am ashamed of myself but willing to learn from my mistakes. And I've decided that I'm going to do what I should have done when I came back from London and head on out your way as soon as I get the opportunity. Please let me know if you hear of any job openings at solid NGOs or even in the government of the Prince of Darkness. Also, check out www.sojourners.com sometime... it's a Christian magazine for social justice and they give me hope. If I can't find anything before March, I think I'm going to apply for their internship.

So in short, with a heart of instructive love, bitch slap a necon, but don't forget to tell him that you love him as a brother in Christ first and remind him about the bit where Jesus tells us to turn the other cheek.

Love,
Crystal

[tcepsa.livejournal.com]

*laugh* Crystal! It's great to hear from you, and that you're still alive and kicking (though it's hard for me to imagine you as anything else ;) I'll try to keep an ear open for positions opening up. Looking for anything in particular? :)

Now that my initial desire to get out of the country has subsided a bit, I'm thinking seriously about getting more involved politically here--there seems to be a renewed spirit on many peoples' part to get more involved. Alone, I felt like I had no idea where to even start, but now that I'm starting to see that I'm not the only one who feels this way, I hope to be able to find a way to help.

Not to say that I wouldn't still like to tour the world (Scotland, Japan, New Zealand...), but they should still all be there in four years if I really do end up deciding to move out for good. That's not a decision I would make lightly at all--and with some of the murmurings that I hear echoing across the Internet now, it may prove to be unnecessary.

About the only thing that I've made up my mind about right now is that I'd like to become better informed, and that I'm going to start trying to keep a closer tag on local politics... we'll see where I go from there :)

*grin* A lot of it is also going to be spent in trying to develop better understanding with and compassion for the "other side" (I think the Buddhists call it "lovingkindness")--because without that, how can we ever hope to communicate? My ultimate goal here (being the foolish idealist that I am ;) would not be to elect one particular party over another; it would be to help this country to live in what I perceive as the spirit in which it was founded. I know that I was cynical about this in my original post, but that's because it seems like we keep slipping farther and farther away from it. What I really hope for is life, liberty, and happiness for everyone. I've been taken aback at how these seem to be falling by the wayside as priorities, displaced by security and anti-terrorism, but perhaps we can get the focus back on them. In a country where everyone lives freely and happily, and lets others do the same, it seems unlikely that there would be much trouble with security and terrorism (though this definitely bears looking into--mental note to self: research situations that give rise to or provoke terrorism).

Anyway, I'm rambling again so I will close by sending love, hugs, and best wishes!

Take care of yourself :)

Center of it All

[(Anonymous)]

Basically I'm looking for anything that will make me feel purposeful. Yes, I know that's broad. Mainly my skills lie in communications type things, organizing/being organized, and creative problem solving. Any position that would keep me on my toes and use my skills to good ends is good enough for me. If I can manage to throw a spitball at Dubya in the line of work, even better.

XOXO,
Crystal