Making good on a sort-of promise!
Jun. 22nd, 2006 01:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tcepsaI mentioned something about doing an introspective post in my last entry, and so ta-da!
I've been very nervous about camp, without really being sure why. Yesterday, talking to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fortryll I realized that aside from her, I don't really feel like I know anybody there. Once I realized that, it seemed kind of obvious that I'd feel off-balance about the whole thing; I'm going camping with a bunch of people that I really don't know all that well.
Yet at the same time, I hear people who have been a few times talk about how awesome it is and how they can't wait to catch up with other people, and I was having a lot of dissonance with that in the form of, "Why don't I feel excited about catching up with people? Why am I scared that nobody will want to talk to me or hang out with me?" It was like my very own personal little bit of fear play to kick off the weekend ;)
The realization that I don't really know anybody helped put things in better perspective though. I'm not looking forward to catching up with close friends that I hardly ever see because I don't have any yet because I've never been to this camp before! Looked at like that, it makes much more sense. Yes, there's still the nervousness that people won't be interested in doing anything with me, but that's normal for going to an event like this where I'm not particularly close to anyone (I know that there will definitely be one exception to that, but I can't have her completely to myself for the entire weekend ;) And it no longer is being augmented by the underlying dissonance of "Why am I the only one who seems to feel this way?!"
So now I'm very much looking forward to hitting the road in an hour and getting underway. I just hope that I can beat the worst of the traffic to the Woodrow Wilson... ;)
I've been very nervous about camp, without really being sure why. Yesterday, talking to
fortryll I realized that aside from her, I don't really feel like I know anybody there. Once I realized that, it seemed kind of obvious that I'd feel off-balance about the whole thing; I'm going camping with a bunch of people that I really don't know all that well.Yet at the same time, I hear people who have been a few times talk about how awesome it is and how they can't wait to catch up with other people, and I was having a lot of dissonance with that in the form of, "Why don't I feel excited about catching up with people? Why am I scared that nobody will want to talk to me or hang out with me?" It was like my very own personal little bit of fear play to kick off the weekend ;)
The realization that I don't really know anybody helped put things in better perspective though. I'm not looking forward to catching up with close friends that I hardly ever see because I don't have any yet because I've never been to this camp before! Looked at like that, it makes much more sense. Yes, there's still the nervousness that people won't be interested in doing anything with me, but that's normal for going to an event like this where I'm not particularly close to anyone (I know that there will definitely be one exception to that, but I can't have her completely to myself for the entire weekend ;) And it no longer is being augmented by the underlying dissonance of "Why am I the only one who seems to feel this way?!"
So now I'm very much looking forward to hitting the road in an hour and getting underway. I just hope that I can beat the worst of the traffic to the Woodrow Wilson... ;)
