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tcepsaI know that the chances of me actually finding myself in such a situation seem very slim right now, but recent events have made me think that, just in case... if I end up in a coma or some other extremely disabled situation and the chances of my getting better are very slim and I am unable to make a decision for myself, I have already made the decision. The short answer, "Let me go."
Currently, I'm of the opinion that if I ever go into a coma for an extended period of time/I turn into a vegetable and the only way I'm surviving is with the help of extensive machinery and a lot of someone's money, then I, the part of me that's really me, am probably gone. If not, then I'm probably ready to be moving on. I won't hold it against you if you decide to keep my body alive, and I might even stay around (the way I see it, I've got plenty of time in the long run), but I think it's very important that whoever ends up being involved in the decision keep some things in mind.
The main thing is, "Why are you keeping me around?" If it is because you hope that one day I will wake up, like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, the same as I was before... well, I'm not an expert by any stretch of the imagination when it comes to things like comas and brain damage, but I'm pretty sure the odds of that are really poor.
If you're keeping me around in order to let me experience more of the joy that living can be: My main goal here on Earth is to live my life fully, so that regardless of when it becomes time for me to leave, I am ready. I don't see life as a one-shot chance to "get it right" and get into Paradise. I see it as one opportunity to express myself, to experience the full joy of being me, but not by any means the only opportunity. When it is over, I'll move on to the next thing.
If you're keeping me around because we love each other: As I mentioned before, it is your choice. But it is a big world, with lots of people. Sure, many of them seem rotten, and no, a relationship with any of them would probably not be the same as a relationship with me. It could be better, for all I know, and I would encourage you to go and find out, if you feel so inclined--or not. But there are plenty of other things that you could be exploring instead of taking care of me, and I would strongly encourage you to consider exploring them. I love you, and I want you to live your life to the fullest, and death won't stop that. Letting me go does not mean that you do not love me--and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
If you're keeping me around because it is morally wrong to let someone die: I will haunt you so hard you'll wish you were on the Flying Dutchman. Just kidding ^_^ Seriously, though, if you believe it is morally wrong to let people die, I would ask you to please do the following:
You have a choice: keep them alive or keep me alive. Since, under these hypothetical circumstances, they probably have much more of a life ahead of them than I do, I hope that you will choose to help them live it.
Keep me around, or not, as you feel most beneficial to you and your spiritual growth. If you do decide to keep me around, I request that you make it as painless for me as possible. Actually, whether you decide to keep me around or not, I request that you make it as painless for me as possible ;) If you decide to keep me on life support, then I expect you to shoulder the responsibility required to do so. If you're not willing to put forth that effort, then you have no right to tell others they have to. As mentioned before, if I am not ready to go when it happens then that's my fault and I'll deal with the consequences.
If I don't get a chance to say goodbye to you, then I'm telling you now, I love you and I wish you nothing but the best. Regardless of whatever fights or disagreements we may have, I still love you at some deep level and I hope that you can see that--if not right away, then with time.
ADDENDUM: For the sake of all things you consider good, make sure that whatever parts of me still work get to people who can actually use them!
In closing, I highly recommend that you read Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach, and offer this quotation from it, "Overcome space, and all we have left is here. Overcome time, and all we have left is now. And in the middle of here and now, don't you think that we might see each other once or twice?"
Currently, I'm of the opinion that if I ever go into a coma for an extended period of time/I turn into a vegetable and the only way I'm surviving is with the help of extensive machinery and a lot of someone's money, then I, the part of me that's really me, am probably gone. If not, then I'm probably ready to be moving on. I won't hold it against you if you decide to keep my body alive, and I might even stay around (the way I see it, I've got plenty of time in the long run), but I think it's very important that whoever ends up being involved in the decision keep some things in mind.
The main thing is, "Why are you keeping me around?" If it is because you hope that one day I will wake up, like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, the same as I was before... well, I'm not an expert by any stretch of the imagination when it comes to things like comas and brain damage, but I'm pretty sure the odds of that are really poor.
If you're keeping me around in order to let me experience more of the joy that living can be: My main goal here on Earth is to live my life fully, so that regardless of when it becomes time for me to leave, I am ready. I don't see life as a one-shot chance to "get it right" and get into Paradise. I see it as one opportunity to express myself, to experience the full joy of being me, but not by any means the only opportunity. When it is over, I'll move on to the next thing.
If you're keeping me around because we love each other: As I mentioned before, it is your choice. But it is a big world, with lots of people. Sure, many of them seem rotten, and no, a relationship with any of them would probably not be the same as a relationship with me. It could be better, for all I know, and I would encourage you to go and find out, if you feel so inclined--or not. But there are plenty of other things that you could be exploring instead of taking care of me, and I would strongly encourage you to consider exploring them. I love you, and I want you to live your life to the fullest, and death won't stop that. Letting me go does not mean that you do not love me--and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
If you're keeping me around because it is morally wrong to let someone die: I will haunt you so hard you'll wish you were on the Flying Dutchman. Just kidding ^_^ Seriously, though, if you believe it is morally wrong to let people die, I would ask you to please do the following:
- Figure out how much time and money you are expending on keeping me alive.
- Apply that time and money toward helping bring people out of poverty, or feeding starving families, or buying supplies and providing care for people who are more likely to recover than I am if they get the proper medical attention.
You have a choice: keep them alive or keep me alive. Since, under these hypothetical circumstances, they probably have much more of a life ahead of them than I do, I hope that you will choose to help them live it.
Keep me around, or not, as you feel most beneficial to you and your spiritual growth. If you do decide to keep me around, I request that you make it as painless for me as possible. Actually, whether you decide to keep me around or not, I request that you make it as painless for me as possible ;) If you decide to keep me on life support, then I expect you to shoulder the responsibility required to do so. If you're not willing to put forth that effort, then you have no right to tell others they have to. As mentioned before, if I am not ready to go when it happens then that's my fault and I'll deal with the consequences.
If I don't get a chance to say goodbye to you, then I'm telling you now, I love you and I wish you nothing but the best. Regardless of whatever fights or disagreements we may have, I still love you at some deep level and I hope that you can see that--if not right away, then with time.
ADDENDUM: For the sake of all things you consider good, make sure that whatever parts of me still work get to people who can actually use them!
In closing, I highly recommend that you read Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach, and offer this quotation from it, "Overcome space, and all we have left is here. Overcome time, and all we have left is now. And in the middle of here and now, don't you think that we might see each other once or twice?"
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no subject
Date: 2005-03-21 10:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-21 11:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-21 06:26 pm (UTC)You may recall a few months ago when I was talking to you about this very thing. I told you that I should set up a living will and give you the power to allow me to be let go if I were in a "vegetable" state. I don't think my family is close enough to me to make the decision that would need to be made in this case. I very much do not want to be kept alive if I were "not there". For what?
I think it is interesting that you have given permission for people to hold on to you if that is what they want...you are always thinking of others. I think it is kinder to let anyone go if they are really no longer experiencing life thru their bodies. I wonder at how selfish some people are--keeping someone alive when the chances of them coming back are almost nil.
I also really don't care WHAT happens to my body after I'm done with it. I would hope that it can help people--be it saving someone's life via organ transplant, or by being used for learning in an anatomy class.
It's interesting that most of us never think to discuss these things and let our wishes be known clearly--if everyone's personal wishes were known there sure would be a lot less pain/struggle going on when tragedy occurs and a decision has to be made...Thank you for making your wishes known.
Esoterics
Date: 2005-03-21 08:03 pm (UTC)(of course, that belief is subject to change--and if it does, I'll be sure to put an update here and modify my will accordingly once I get it created ;)