tcepsa | Synchronicity Factor: High

As of midnight past, I have worked for the government in an Information Assurance position for two years (I started on August 11, 2003). That by itself to me is not all that spectacular. It's good that I've been able to hold a job this long, and that I am pretty secure in it, but generally job anniversaries are not considered reason for celebration in quite the same sense as, say, birthdays or relationships. I'm not getting presents, my boss isn't taking me out for a quiet candlelit dinner, nothing. It's not the sort of event that, in and of itself, would precipitate much excitement for me.

Except that this particular two-year anniversary signifies the end of my commitment to The Man! For those of you who are going, "Wait, you had an obligation to the government?" a brief backstory: I got a scholarship that covered the last two years of my degree in exchange for my partaking of certain information assurance courses and then going to work for the government in an information assurance capacity for two years. My response was, "So you'll send me to school to learn how hackers do their thing, and then you'll give me a job? Hmmmm... OK!"

But wait, there's more! Since I'm not so keen on continuing to do the sort of work that I've been doing in the sort of environment that I've been doing it, I've started looking around for other job opportunities. Last night, yea, on the very same day that my obligation ended, I got an offer! The company is located in Alexandria near the Torpedo Factory (which is down by the waterfront, an area that I'm rather fond of). I'd be getting a pretty significant pay raise over what I'm making now, and the benefits are slightly better as well. Most importantly, though, I'd be on a software development team (i.e. I'd be doing something I love!) Plus I've talked with some of the employees of the company, and it sounds like it is a much more laid back organization than my current one, with a comparable level of schedule flexibility and (another bonus) the possibility of telecommuting. Considering my impending move to Woodbridge, that could be a really, really good thing if it panned out.

So it's about a 99% certainty that I am going to take this new position. The only problem is that I'm nervous about telling my current boss. I have the impression that his response is going to be something along the lines of, "Tell me what we would have to do to get you to stay, and I'll make sure that it happens." Maybe not. At this point, I kind of hope that he'll just say "Wow, congratulations, it's been great having you here and we really appreciate everything you've done and wish you the best of luck in your new position," but somehow I don't think that he's going to let me go that easily. And it's going to feel really awkward having to turn down his offer and say, "I don't think there's anything that you can do to change my mind." Because really, I don't think there is. Money is tempting, but I really think that it is time for me to explore my other options and see what it's like to actually have a job like the one I've been offered. Maybe if he offered me full-time pay and benefits for half-time work, but that's just silly and I'm certainly not going to suggest it :p It would be a lot easier if I hated the people here, but I don't. I really like most of them, and the rest aren't bad. I just am not comfortable with the stress level of the work environment, and I don't particularly have an interest in most of the stuff that I am doing.

I think the struggle is against the idea that success is defined by the size of your paycheck and the flashiness of the toys and the size of the house that you buy with it. All my life I've been surrounded by that concept, or at least the idea of always wanting more money so I could buy myself more or better things. The idea of trying to explain to someone that they simply can't offer me the quality of life I want is not one that I look forward to. And maybe I won't have to, and I won't know until I tell them that I've got this offer, so I might as well bite the bullet. I just have to remember that the reason I am doing it is a happy one for me, a step towards creating the life I desire, and that's more important than whatever guilt-trips may arise.

So overall, it's been a pretty exciting time and I am really looking forward to it. It's going to be a little tricky, since I'm also hoping to make it back to MN over Labor Day for the Renaissance Festival there, and also I was hoping to take a few days two weeks after that and go camping, but maybe I can just take a few weeks off between the jobs. That would make my move down to Woodbridge easier as well, since I could focus on that instead of having to juggle that and a new job. Will have to call and see whether the end of September would be a reasonable start date.