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Gentle Ribbing
May. 6th, 2009 01:44 pmThis topic somewhat perplexes me, probably because it seems to encompass a social minefield scattered with little bits of gold and precious gems.
It seems like it can have positive effects. Occasionally one of the other members on the team will say something about "long haired tree-huggers" in response to something I've done, but it either doesn't bother me or it strikes me as funny and we get a laugh out of it and carry on. Afterwards, it seems like it's brought us a little closer together somehow, but I'm not entirely sure why. Possibly because the way they say it indicates that they don't really mean it or, at worst, that it's something that they don't personally agree with as a way of life for themselves but they don't really have a problem with the fact that I do it. Maybe it's something else.
On the other hand, it can also be a very short step from that to someone saying the same thing, or almost the same thing, but meaning "I disagree with your life choice and look down upon you as a result."
Why does this sometimes work and sometimes blow up so spectacularly? Do people who use it to hurt others realize what they're doing or are they just that clueless? Do they actually think that it is helping them to bond with that person because they've seen it work that way with others (possibly when others do it)? What separates the two?
It seems like it can have positive effects. Occasionally one of the other members on the team will say something about "long haired tree-huggers" in response to something I've done, but it either doesn't bother me or it strikes me as funny and we get a laugh out of it and carry on. Afterwards, it seems like it's brought us a little closer together somehow, but I'm not entirely sure why. Possibly because the way they say it indicates that they don't really mean it or, at worst, that it's something that they don't personally agree with as a way of life for themselves but they don't really have a problem with the fact that I do it. Maybe it's something else.
On the other hand, it can also be a very short step from that to someone saying the same thing, or almost the same thing, but meaning "I disagree with your life choice and look down upon you as a result."
Why does this sometimes work and sometimes blow up so spectacularly? Do people who use it to hurt others realize what they're doing or are they just that clueless? Do they actually think that it is helping them to bond with that person because they've seen it work that way with others (possibly when others do it)? What separates the two?
